从昨晚开始，雨就下个不停， 仿佛印证着我的心情。 或许是巧合还是什么的，每当我不开心时，天都在下雨。我总傻气的在想，它是知道我流不出泪，所以在帮我哭吗？
昨天，短短的一个小时以内，我的生活被投下了一颗原子弹。你们有谁被人指着鼻子大骂吗？我昨晚尝试了。我觉得极度的被羞辱。。。虽然事后道歉了，可是道歉 有用吗？我可以打了你一扒过后我道歉，然后就什么事都没有发生吗？在道歉的一刻，我尽然还很冷静地说；“都发生了，就算了吧。”我不懂我是在安慰骂我的 人，还是在平起自己的怒气？
事情发生过后，我真的不想再去在想，可是我的脑完完全全不收我的控制。我真的累了。。。原来人与人之间是可以那么复杂的。
现在的我，只想躲在我的安乐窝里，什么都不去想，不去听，不去看。。。可是，这个安乐窝，还是我的安乐窝吗？
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thanks...
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Get this from Amy
愛情像等車
愛情有時像在等公車，不想坐的公車接二連三頻頻為你停留，而真正想坐的，卻怎麼也等不到，像是一場存心的惡作劇。
等到公車終於姍姍來遲時，卻像約好似的結夥成行連來兩三輛，讓人不知如何是好，無論坐上哪輛，都抹不去心頭淡淡的悵惘，總疑心錯過的是否才是最好選擇，直到兩車交會時從窗外看進車內的景像，才豁然開朗，或是懊悔不已，但畢竟不是置身其中，無從斷言真相。
公 車的路線繁雜交錯，任君選擇，有的迅速便捷，偏偏班次極少，要靠運氣及毅力才可能等到；有的班次頻繁，卻必須中途換車，才能抵達目到地；有的路線曲折迂 迴，抵達之日漫漫無期；有的總是過站不停；有的偏偏等待的站牌及時機不對，讓人總是擠不上車；有的輕鬆舒適，隨招隨停，卻無法開往你心中想去的地方。
於是有人勉強擠上車，在車門開閉的夾縫中狼狽惶恐地走完全程；
有人錯看站牌，慌忙上車又下車；
有人改變初衷，卻在不停的轉換間迷失方向；
有人錯過了目的地，卻意外欣賞到一路的美好風光；
有人不耐等待的煎熬，只好修正愛情的方向，選擇多數人搭乘，班次多的安全班車。
因為年輕的緣故，我曾義無反顧地等待著班次間隔時間極長、可遇不可求，但座椅舒適、服務貼心、直直駛向夢想目的地的公車。我看見身邊一同等車的人紛紛失去耐性，胡亂揀了輛公車匆匆離去。
但若現在離去，所耗去的心力，放棄的青春，豈不是犧牲得一點價值也沒有？我換了姿勢，作好長期抗戰的心理準備，卻不得不開始懷疑，等待是因為對完美的渴望，還是純粹源自於不甘心的緣故？
直到夜已深，月已落，我才忽然醒覺，整件事只是一場誤會，我苦苦守候的是一輛早已停駛的公車，再不認賠出場，我的人生就要輸得一敗塗地，永無翻身之日。
願賭服輸，這是當初選擇這班公車就該預想到的結果，其實沒什麼好怨天尤人的，然而就在我黯然穿越馬路，走向開往另一個目的地的公車時，卻驀地回頭望見，我曾引頸期盼的稀有公車竟然來了。
它穩穩地停在站牌前，車燈一明一滅地眨著眼，似乎在嘲弄三心二意的人，而恰好路過的行人，大刺刺地跨上車子，渾然不覺自己的幸運，我奮力追趕，卻被紅燈阻擋去向，只能呆望著它揚長而去，無可奈何。
後來我決定自己開車，從等待或是妥協的兩難困境中脫身，卻開始面臨尋找停車位的課題。
這就是愛情吧!
Friday, October 26, 2007
New look of Me~~~
A friend of mine, Jnee, she is selling clothes now. All the clothes she order from her friend and imported from Hong Kong. So yesterday, after my class, me, Lily, and Sara went to Jnee's house to have a look at those clothes. I am so paiseh to reject her since she asked me many times already.
We went there and tried the clothes for around 3 hours, haha... I have trird on some clothes that I definitely won't buy and wear. Erm... the feeling was quite good and weird when I having a try on them. Bought few pieces, then I am totally broke this month. Need to eat maggi now, haiz... This lesson teach me not only think twice when you spend, its not enough one, think third or forth!!!
Me and Jnee, the tauke niang
Personally, I like this set~~~
So so so short o, the skirt... and very fit...
Nice???
Me and Lily
Ok, these are part of the clothes that I tried. Just took part of the pictures, thanks Sara for that!
By the way, H., I got slim down? Haha... post comments for me so that I know~~~
We went there and tried the clothes for around 3 hours, haha... I have trird on some clothes that I definitely won't buy and wear. Erm... the feeling was quite good and weird when I having a try on them. Bought few pieces, then I am totally broke this month. Need to eat maggi now, haiz... This lesson teach me not only think twice when you spend, its not enough one, think third or forth!!!
Me and Jnee, the tauke niang
Personally, I like this set~~~
So so so short o, the skirt... and very fit...
Nice???
Me and Lily
Ok, these are part of the clothes that I tried. Just took part of the pictures, thanks Sara for that!
By the way, H., I got slim down? Haha... post comments for me so that I know~~~
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Free Week Review
Last Saturday
Wake up around 6am as I am taking morning flight back to KK. This time, I follow Evelyn's car. Wait Evelyn till 6.45am, then go to her house for her to take her luggage. Her brother was drunk and can't wake up. I start worrying that I will be late to airport. 7am, 7.05am, 7.10am, 7.15am, finally, everything is settled and we are ready to go. My flight is at 8.15am, I am pretty sure that I am late to airport now. 7.30am, I reach airport. 15 minutes, Alison, we can go airport just 15 minutes from Senadin area, provided you have a nice car and professional driver...
The lady at the counter there told me:"Please come early next time, the counter had close. Now, please go up to the immigresion immediately". Ok, now, I am rushing everything, for the first time... Everything is rushing, I don't know why, even the flight arrive 30 minutes earlier, =="
The weather on that day is very nice, I even can see many clouds. It was just like another sea in the sky, the scenery is damn nice. I even can see the morning view of Mount Kinabalu. There were many foreigners' same flight with me. The children were so cute, kawaii ne... Oh ya, I heard the mother sitting in front of me told her child that, Hui Hui, don't naughty ya, later jie jie ma ma. Straight away, I think of Shing Huey, imagine that she is naughty on the plane and scold by a lady, smile climbs on my face. The guy sitting next to me must think I am crazy because of keep smiling alone there. He is gentleman enough, really, letting me to get down the plane first when we arrive KK.
First day in KK, flu. Still stomachache on that day too. Sleeping~~~
Last Sunday
After sending my brother to his part time job, I accompany mummy and daddy to have breakfast. I don't really remember how long I don't have my breakfast already. I am very full having it. Met mummy and daddy's friend, Aunty Annie. An aunty that I haven't met for long.
Received YinShaet's sms and ask me to go shopping with her and Piggy at Wisma Merdeka. I agreed. Never try to go out with my university friends before in KK, quite excited about that. Piggy will go back Labuan on the next day. My stomach start pain again during we go shopping, haiz... Met Jenny Lim in Vun Wah, when I was trying a t-shirt pick by Piggy. Her emotion is quite funny, keep staring at me. I think mayb she don't expect to see me in KK, hehe... Promise her to come out yumcha, but mission failed.
Actually quite fun to go shopping with Piggy and YinShaet, I spent around RM 200 that day, my money!!! Try so hard to save money in Miri, and really spend a lots when I am in KK. I try so hard to control myself not to buy things anymore when I am in Warisan Square. Luckily all things I bought got discount one. Hehe...
I went Starbucks with them after doing all the shoppings. This is the second time I been to Starbucks. Ordered a Latte, erm...Coffee Bean one tasted better...
Monday
Went to having breakfast with my uncle as he called on Saturday night. I accidentally go and pick up the phone when he called, so, hehe, I earn my breakfast in 大同. The dim sum there is nice, but I still think a bit expensive la... Around Rm 100 for that breakfast... ><" Went Asia City after that with mummy and daddy. I still don't have the chances to have a look at the ice skating venue, haiz... Went to Japan Home to buy something and went home sleep~~~
Tuesday
Didn't do much things today. Just start my revision for final a bit, then, eat, sleep, and relax. The feeling of sick make me feel very weak~~~
Wednesday
My ear really painful now. Actually it start already when I am still in Miri. I can't stand it anymore, mummy make appointment with the the doctor. I need to see the doctor as I scare it is inflammation. I put some ear drops but it didn't works!
After I bathed that night, I can feel like there is liquid thingy flow out from my ear. I deal with it. I doubt that is an insect in my ear. It must crawl in my ear when I sleep. No wonder my ear can pain like that. I fix it myself, hehe... No need to pay a visit to the doctor now. Its all fine.
Luckily Nicholas cancel the yumcha already~~~
Thursday
Went Damai for breakfast with mummy and my brother. Then, make cookies! I didn't do much things, mummy is professional and she did most the works. However, I also got contributions la, hehe...
Finally, first yumcha since I am back in KK this time. Only got me, Tatilya, and Nicholas. I thought I am the one that late, as I accompany mummy buy something first. I sms Nicholas. Then Tatilya called me, teeling me that she is late. Then, I think, Nicholas should be the earliest one. But guess wat, I am still the first one arrive.
Yumcha at Tanamera, first time been to there. The drinks there is quite good, except I can't fall asleep that night. Don't know is because of the drink or I slept to much already since I am back to KK... Tatilya said that I look slim already, hahahaha... I didn't go and loss my weight purposely, but still glad that I am lossing weight. Nicholas is a talkative partner to talk to. We chat so many things, first time talk so many and laugh so many this time I come back to KK.
By the way, I didn't really use my blanket to sneeze lo, Nicholas...and thanks for spending us the drinks too.
Friday
Extremely tired today. I promise to follow mummy to Lido at first. So, I force myself to wake up around 6.15am. Went downstairs, sleep at sofa there. Mummy don't want me to follow after seeing my dead fish style. After she went out, I went back continue my sleep till 8.30am. After having my brunch, went back to sleep again till 1pm, OMG~~~
Start revision again last minutes as I feel a bit guilty after I carried so many books come back from Miri and didn't really study them... However, didn't do many revision also, because I need to pack all my things already.
Daddy brought me to Salim after went to grandparents house. Didn't eat anything, just watch TV3 at there...
Saturday
Its time to go back Miri now. Meet Chua on the flight, excited about that, feeling comfortable to meet someone I know. I still wonder who sms me that time as I don't know his handphone number and I didn't see him in the airport. Both of us chat a lots, he is a nice guy. He is also on the same flight with me flying back to KK from Miri that day. Just don't know both of us didn't see each other. Actually he said he saw me around campus this sem, but I wonder how come I didn't saw him every time he saw me~~~
Simon is fetching us. Met Kian Kok kaki on his car. Yi Long and Steve, nice to meet you!
At night, my housemates are dealing with the house thing. I am very frustrated of that already. Just received the call in the afternoon saying that he moves, then tell me that he haven't confirm to move at night. I think he is FOOLING me around.
Finally, I saw Chee Fui online tonight. Chit chat a bit with him, he is really the one that can analyse me more than everyone does~~~ No offence ya, my dear friends...
Sunday
Finally, its Sunday. Didn't do much things today. Just revision one chapter of my HRM and watch dramas the whole day. Boring... The feeling of sick is still there.
That stupid housemate come and discuss the house things again, every time when I am having my dinner. I am really desperated now. I feel like I want to shout at him, asking him stop talking all those unconfirm things to me. Why don't he try to make the decisions fast and we solve this once and for all???
Its Monday again now. I want to shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIFEI, my dear... Wish you all the best...
Wake up around 6am as I am taking morning flight back to KK. This time, I follow Evelyn's car. Wait Evelyn till 6.45am, then go to her house for her to take her luggage. Her brother was drunk and can't wake up. I start worrying that I will be late to airport. 7am, 7.05am, 7.10am, 7.15am, finally, everything is settled and we are ready to go. My flight is at 8.15am, I am pretty sure that I am late to airport now. 7.30am, I reach airport. 15 minutes, Alison, we can go airport just 15 minutes from Senadin area, provided you have a nice car and professional driver...
The lady at the counter there told me:"Please come early next time, the counter had close. Now, please go up to the immigresion immediately". Ok, now, I am rushing everything, for the first time... Everything is rushing, I don't know why, even the flight arrive 30 minutes earlier, =="
The weather on that day is very nice, I even can see many clouds. It was just like another sea in the sky, the scenery is damn nice. I even can see the morning view of Mount Kinabalu. There were many foreigners' same flight with me. The children were so cute, kawaii ne... Oh ya, I heard the mother sitting in front of me told her child that, Hui Hui, don't naughty ya, later jie jie ma ma. Straight away, I think of Shing Huey, imagine that she is naughty on the plane and scold by a lady, smile climbs on my face. The guy sitting next to me must think I am crazy because of keep smiling alone there. He is gentleman enough, really, letting me to get down the plane first when we arrive KK.
First day in KK, flu. Still stomachache on that day too. Sleeping~~~
Last Sunday
After sending my brother to his part time job, I accompany mummy and daddy to have breakfast. I don't really remember how long I don't have my breakfast already. I am very full having it. Met mummy and daddy's friend, Aunty Annie. An aunty that I haven't met for long.
Received YinShaet's sms and ask me to go shopping with her and Piggy at Wisma Merdeka. I agreed. Never try to go out with my university friends before in KK, quite excited about that. Piggy will go back Labuan on the next day. My stomach start pain again during we go shopping, haiz... Met Jenny Lim in Vun Wah, when I was trying a t-shirt pick by Piggy. Her emotion is quite funny, keep staring at me. I think mayb she don't expect to see me in KK, hehe... Promise her to come out yumcha, but mission failed.
Actually quite fun to go shopping with Piggy and YinShaet, I spent around RM 200 that day, my money!!! Try so hard to save money in Miri, and really spend a lots when I am in KK. I try so hard to control myself not to buy things anymore when I am in Warisan Square. Luckily all things I bought got discount one. Hehe...
I went Starbucks with them after doing all the shoppings. This is the second time I been to Starbucks. Ordered a Latte, erm...Coffee Bean one tasted better...
Monday
Went to having breakfast with my uncle as he called on Saturday night. I accidentally go and pick up the phone when he called, so, hehe, I earn my breakfast in 大同. The dim sum there is nice, but I still think a bit expensive la... Around Rm 100 for that breakfast... ><" Went Asia City after that with mummy and daddy. I still don't have the chances to have a look at the ice skating venue, haiz... Went to Japan Home to buy something and went home sleep~~~
Tuesday
Didn't do much things today. Just start my revision for final a bit, then, eat, sleep, and relax. The feeling of sick make me feel very weak~~~
Wednesday
My ear really painful now. Actually it start already when I am still in Miri. I can't stand it anymore, mummy make appointment with the the doctor. I need to see the doctor as I scare it is inflammation. I put some ear drops but it didn't works!
After I bathed that night, I can feel like there is liquid thingy flow out from my ear. I deal with it. I doubt that is an insect in my ear. It must crawl in my ear when I sleep. No wonder my ear can pain like that. I fix it myself, hehe... No need to pay a visit to the doctor now. Its all fine.
Luckily Nicholas cancel the yumcha already~~~
Thursday
Went Damai for breakfast with mummy and my brother. Then, make cookies! I didn't do much things, mummy is professional and she did most the works. However, I also got contributions la, hehe...
Finally, first yumcha since I am back in KK this time. Only got me, Tatilya, and Nicholas. I thought I am the one that late, as I accompany mummy buy something first. I sms Nicholas. Then Tatilya called me, teeling me that she is late. Then, I think, Nicholas should be the earliest one. But guess wat, I am still the first one arrive.
Yumcha at Tanamera, first time been to there. The drinks there is quite good, except I can't fall asleep that night. Don't know is because of the drink or I slept to much already since I am back to KK... Tatilya said that I look slim already, hahahaha... I didn't go and loss my weight purposely, but still glad that I am lossing weight. Nicholas is a talkative partner to talk to. We chat so many things, first time talk so many and laugh so many this time I come back to KK.
By the way, I didn't really use my blanket to sneeze lo, Nicholas...and thanks for spending us the drinks too.
Friday
Extremely tired today. I promise to follow mummy to Lido at first. So, I force myself to wake up around 6.15am. Went downstairs, sleep at sofa there. Mummy don't want me to follow after seeing my dead fish style. After she went out, I went back continue my sleep till 8.30am. After having my brunch, went back to sleep again till 1pm, OMG~~~
Start revision again last minutes as I feel a bit guilty after I carried so many books come back from Miri and didn't really study them... However, didn't do many revision also, because I need to pack all my things already.
Daddy brought me to Salim after went to grandparents house. Didn't eat anything, just watch TV3 at there...
Saturday
Its time to go back Miri now. Meet Chua on the flight, excited about that, feeling comfortable to meet someone I know. I still wonder who sms me that time as I don't know his handphone number and I didn't see him in the airport. Both of us chat a lots, he is a nice guy. He is also on the same flight with me flying back to KK from Miri that day. Just don't know both of us didn't see each other. Actually he said he saw me around campus this sem, but I wonder how come I didn't saw him every time he saw me~~~
Simon is fetching us. Met Kian Kok kaki on his car. Yi Long and Steve, nice to meet you!
At night, my housemates are dealing with the house thing. I am very frustrated of that already. Just received the call in the afternoon saying that he moves, then tell me that he haven't confirm to move at night. I think he is FOOLING me around.
Finally, I saw Chee Fui online tonight. Chit chat a bit with him, he is really the one that can analyse me more than everyone does~~~ No offence ya, my dear friends...
Sunday
Finally, its Sunday. Didn't do much things today. Just revision one chapter of my HRM and watch dramas the whole day. Boring... The feeling of sick is still there.
That stupid housemate come and discuss the house things again, every time when I am having my dinner. I am really desperated now. I feel like I want to shout at him, asking him stop talking all those unconfirm things to me. Why don't he try to make the decisions fast and we solve this once and for all???
Its Monday again now. I want to shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIFEI, my dear... Wish you all the best...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sick Holiday~~
I am sick. First stomah ache, then flu, and now, my ear pains. I don't know is it because I am too stress recently and then when I am relax a bit, all diseasesss come and tackle me or what. Honestly, I am too tired and weak now. Everyday sleep for couple of times, rest more, more, and more. Kinda feeling guilty as I promise mummy to accompany her, and planning to help her to do some house work, however, now end up need her to take care me back, haiz... The only thing I am glad is that I really spent my times with my family.
Talking back to my studies, planning to do some revision, end up doing nothing also. My sick really disturbing me, I can't do much things because of that. I just feel that I am too weak.
Think of many things when I am in KK this time. May be I have already make some decisions for the future and some certain issues, however, I am still feeling uncertain, that feeling keep on haunting me. I feel unsecure, all the time. I still pretend to be strong as usual, I think no one realised that I am in problems now, till now... I think I used to be pretending that I am strong, till myself also have the thinking that I am strong, without thinking that this is only the fake personality I am having now...
Talking back to my studies, planning to do some revision, end up doing nothing also. My sick really disturbing me, I can't do much things because of that. I just feel that I am too weak.
Think of many things when I am in KK this time. May be I have already make some decisions for the future and some certain issues, however, I am still feeling uncertain, that feeling keep on haunting me. I feel unsecure, all the time. I still pretend to be strong as usual, I think no one realised that I am in problems now, till now... I think I used to be pretending that I am strong, till myself also have the thinking that I am strong, without thinking that this is only the fake personality I am having now...
Friday, October 12, 2007
Happy? Erm...
Olah, everyone. This morning when i went to print out my assignment in the lab, saw that my HRM marks out already. I fast fast go and have a look how many I get. Guess wat? I score 41 marks (21 marks for the case study and 20 marks, which was full for my participartion) out of 50. I think I get the highest. That is my internal marks for HRM although there is still one more tutorial class left. I already score what I can score now. Happy at that moment... Erica said that I can on the silent mode on the next tutorial already. Ya, silent mode, I can even skip the class also.
After the environment issue in business lecture, came home followed Sharon's car. Then, cooked maggi. Sit at home alone for 5 hours before going to another class. On the way to my class, I saw Eric, my HRM classmate, another talkative guy like me in class. Both of us talk a lots lo, hehe... Guess both of us are hungry for marks... He was learning dancing there, quite fun to see his noob noob face, hehe...
Just feeling I am having a very bored lifestyle now. As I chat with H. in this early morning, time passes so fast till I can't grab it. I really scare I miss out so many things. I always forget what I have do, thats why I like blogging. I write down what I did in a day, so that this can remind me when I read it again next time. Shanna, sooner and later I really will be more ba-chan that you! ^^
I admit I suddenly feel scare now. I scare I will forget everything, forget the life that I am going through everyday. I scare I forget the moment we been together. I scare I forget him. So many things I scare now. I don't know why. [My stomach start pain again now... ><]
p/s: I am having holiday now, will going back to KK tomorrow...
After the environment issue in business lecture, came home followed Sharon's car. Then, cooked maggi. Sit at home alone for 5 hours before going to another class. On the way to my class, I saw Eric, my HRM classmate, another talkative guy like me in class. Both of us talk a lots lo, hehe... Guess both of us are hungry for marks... He was learning dancing there, quite fun to see his noob noob face, hehe...
Just feeling I am having a very bored lifestyle now. As I chat with H. in this early morning, time passes so fast till I can't grab it. I really scare I miss out so many things. I always forget what I have do, thats why I like blogging. I write down what I did in a day, so that this can remind me when I read it again next time. Shanna, sooner and later I really will be more ba-chan that you! ^^
I admit I suddenly feel scare now. I scare I will forget everything, forget the life that I am going through everyday. I scare I forget the moment we been together. I scare I forget him. So many things I scare now. I don't know why. [My stomach start pain again now... ><]
p/s: I am having holiday now, will going back to KK tomorrow...
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